Sex and Intimacy in Relatinoships
God cares about our love lives’ and how we engage in them, but in recent years, casual sex and intimacy has changed the landscape of relationships and marriage. In the 1960’s people were accustomed to saving sex for marriage. But according to several recent polls and surveys, most people are doing just the opposite. What’s worse is the fact that correlating evidence suggests that this change in behavior is causing the erosion and dissolution in marriages. If you are wondering how casual sex and sex before marriage is impacting marriages, let’s take a look at the facts. Girl Talk, Sheila Wray Gregoire’s signature event providing Straight Talk on Marriage and Intimacy, with a lot of humor thrown in.
First, let’s examine the rate of divorce in America. While less than 20 percent of couples who married in 1950 ended up divorced, close to 50 percent end up divorced today. This seems to say that as our attitudes about chastity have changed, so have our marriages. There is a certain intimacy between two individuals who engage in sexual activity that cannot be reached outside of the sexual context, and God designed things this way for a reason. However, when individuals get caught up into the temporary physical pleasure associated with sex, they often forget that sex causes two people to become spiritually and emotionally intertwined.
The Bible speaks on this phenomenon of Sex and Intimacy in Corinthians 6:16. Paul writes on the issue thusly: “Or do you not know that the one who joins himself to a prostitute is one body with her? For He says, THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH.” Here, Paul is referring to the spiritual connection that is brought about through engaging in sex. Thus, ‘the two become one.’ But let’s get back to the facts.
Psychologists have identified 5 levels of emotional intimacy. These levels apply to all people who are becoming acclimated with one another.
The lowest and least risky level. This is the level where only the exchange of facts are being shared.
Opinions and Beliefs of Others
At this level, we begin to share other people’s thoughts, beliefs and opinions. Essentially, we are hinting at our own thoughts and beliefs through association with others. If we feel that our own beliefs are threatened, we can always disassociate ourselves.
Our Own Opinions and Beliefs
A small degree of risk is associated with this level because we actually share how we feel about issues.
My Feelings and Experiences
At this level, we begin to share very personal information with the other party. This includes our pleasures, pains, successes, failures life experiences, dreams, and our goals. We are committed at this point because we cannot change the things that make us whom we are.
My Needs, Emotions and Desires
It is at this level that all facades come down, and we let the other person know who we really are. This is a difficult phase because many people fear that the other person may reject them or use this information to their advantage later.
True intimacy takes time to develop. Sometimes the process can take years. People who have sex at any other point than the highest level of intimacy may be setting themselves up for failure. This is because sexual partners often expect for their emotional and other needs to be met.
But this expectation is unrealistic for a casual-sex relationship. Sex and Intimacy should go hand in hand because if they don’t, you are likely to expect your needs and desires to be met by someone who isn’t even at the same level of intimacy as you are. In essence, you may find yourself placing your trust and energy into someone who you don’t fully know. For more information how sex and intimacy go together book a Girl Talk: Good Girls Talk Sex by calling 615-283-0039.
Originally posted 2013-11-06 21:46:10.